Don’t shame, just share – not everyone knows your cultural touchstones

Don’t shame, just share – not everyone knows your cultural touchstones

In a class last week, a younger person shared that they did not know who Mister Rogers was. Know that this class has a nice mix of age and backgrounds. When this person said “I don’t know who that is,” the Gen X folks gasped with a perfectly synchronized “You don’t know who Mister Rogers is!” Like a bunch of old ladies at the country club clutching their pearls, the collective shock was palpable.

And it’s not just Gen X and their culture. It happens amongst and between cohorts. I’ve heard children say it to other children.

Don’t do this. Please. When someone doesn’t know your cherished item of culture, even if they “should have,” do not treat them as outcasts or “weird.” You don’t know what this person’s background is. They may be an immigrant from a country that didn’t have your culture. They may have been busy climbing trees and not watching the TV. You don’t know.

What to do instead? Lean in! “It’s one of my favorite things, I’d love to share some clips with you.” Or, “oh, I should have a watch party.” Or my favorite, “I’m so excited that you get to experience it for the first time!” I was sharing this idea with a friend and she said she saw something similar on the show Muslim Matchmaker. One person didn’t know any of the cultural references and the other person said “That’s great! I get to watch them with you for the first time!” What a great attitude.

Keep this in mind: they. may. not. like. it. It may not hold up. You may go re-watch/re-listen/reread something and realize you don’t like it anymore. That’s OK. Share that back with them, it will add flavor and texture to their experience. Build that connection.


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